In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned how I enjoy swimming against the tide and that was probably one of the reasons why I stayed in Engineering for so long.
I enjoy proving people wrong about racial and gender related preconceptions. I live in Canada, and have only heard some people complain about racism. I am not white, and I haven't faced racism in my 20 years here. I love it here, and that is why I stay. I'm sure there are unfortunate circumstances that some people from minority groups do encounter. And I hope I never encounter those.
But sadly, that has not been the case with gender disparity in the Engineering profession. My encounter with this came late in my career.
17 years ago, When I got into engineering school, I couldn't have given two hoots about who my classmates were. Statistics were meaningless to me. I wanted an engineering degree and that's all that mattered to me. When I graduated, I noticed that out of the 40 graduates, 3 were girls. That didn't make any difference to me.
When I was started working as a junior engineer, I found people to be very encouraging. I had the good fortune of having two good mentors who were willing to give me advice and correct my errors. Later in my career, these same ex-mentors were happy to hear my expertise on certain subjects that I had (somewhat) mastered. (Keep in mind, I've only been doing this for 13 years - not 30.)
However, when it came time to promote me to senior engineer level, I was passed over year after year. (I have mentioned this before.) I would have kept my rose coloured glasses on for a few more years had my manager not told me - in a career review meeting - that I had hit a 'glass ceiling' and that I would have to "live with it" because my manager would do nothing about it. This was unconscionable. I casually mentioned this to HR (because I know the golden rule that HR will always side with management) and was told, "Hmm.... yes. I can see why you were told that." An inappropriate response, to say the least.
However, despite being passed over for a promotion year after year, (while 3 of my male counterparts were rewarded and promoted on time), my work load and my project responsibilities kept increasing. I was leading small and big projects, dealing with clients daily, doing all the site inspections and site commissioning for my department, and burning out as a result of the overwork. I was being given little gift cards in appreciation of my slavery. But no promotion. It was a very confusing and frustrating time in my life.
The Machiavellian nature of this 'glass ceiling notification' experience was because of my manager's gender: She was a woman. If upper management had told her to convey the 'glass ceiling' blow to me, it would have been a stroke of genius. I would never be able to make a case (to any authority outside my company). But I don't think it was that sophisticated. My manager was lazy, crass and aggressive: a Brute. So why did she bother telling me anything? I think it may have been as simple as not wanting to give me a raise that year. Remember that she was a brute, after all. She swung an axe when slight tap would do. (In less than 3 years, 20% of our department had resigned because of her.) (June 2016 update: this lady has now been forced to step down from her position as department head and also been forced to take a leave of absence.)
Definition:
noun: glass ceiling; plural noun: glass ceilings
an unofficially acknowledged barrier to advancement in a profession, especially affecting women and members of minorities.
In response to the misogyny, I just found a different job with a better title in a different company.
Unfortunately, I found out that the entire engineering industry is burdened with very limiting notions about women.
At my new employers, I was the lead electrical engineer on a $500 million dollar project, and I had to fight for 3 months to be taken seriously. A man my age would not have had to do it for that long. One week would have been enough.
After those 3 months were over, and I successfully conveyed that I knew what I was talking about, people relied on me heavily. And life went on.
But today, I had a very interesting conversation that opened my eyes to a more dismal reality. I had hoped that this gender disparity was only a problem in male-dominated professions like engineering. Sadly, this is not true. Apparently, this is a problem in medicine and accounting as well.... professions that I thought had a higher representation of women.
I have to say that on one hand, I was a bit relieved to hear it, because the resistance to women experts is present in all facets of professional life. But on the other hand, I am completely heart-broken.
If I had read this post 5 years ago, I would have laughed in disbelief.
To see the situation from this side of the veil, I had to graduate to the level of 'Senior Engineer', a technical lead, in order to experience this sad truth. I read the book Lean In. I thought it was a well-written joke. (A dull book, but a well-crafted joke.) Telling management my career goals and promotion expectations in clear, concrete terms did fucking zero. I have all the printed documents that are worth as much today as they were 5 years ago: Absolutely Nothing.
As a caveat, I have to say that some sorts of women did get promoted in Engineering: The Non-Technical types. They all had children. (Not having children was actually held against me.) And they all performed some perfunctory, managerial, paper-pushing role. Most of them were extremely timid. But I got the one brute for a manager.
I am grateful, however, to the exceptional men I have encountered in my field. I am always humbled when an electrician calls and says he only trusts me, and won't speak to anyone else in my company. I am infinitely grateful to my senior mentor who has 40-45 years of engineering experience, and treats me with kindness and respect and conveys hope to me in all possible ways. I am grateful to have worked with people who knew what they are doing and took pride in it. It felt good to be recognized for my work regardless of my ability to grow facial hair. I am always filled with gratitude when my technically competent (read snob) co-workers said they liked my work because "at least there's one person who knows what they are doing".
I am infinitely grateful to my parents for raising me with no knowledge of these obtuse gender differences in society. My mother is a strong woman, and my father was always utterly clueless that women ought to be unequal to men - maybe because he had a very strong and very intelligent mother. Their genuine belief that men and women are equal came across in their actions. Both my brother and I went to karate class. And both my brother and I cooked meals with my dad.
And nobody liked to do the dishes.
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