In 2008, when USA when through a housing crisis and an economic melt-down, the media stayed silent about the heart breaking stories of tens of thousands of families that lost their homes and were forced to live in slums; in dwellings made of tarp and cardboard. Only the independent documentaries covered these heart-breaking stories.
In 2002, when eastern Canada saw the hi-tech industry come crashing down, no one - not a single media outlet - covered the story of tens of thousands of people losing their livelihoods forever. No one interviewed a single engineering graduate to find out what was happening to several thousands of young adults who would have to give up their hard-earned degrees forever.
And now generalized headlines like, "Several people in Alberta have lost their oil & gas jobs" doesn't do the stories any justice. These are real people. They have complicated lives. For many, the fall is hard.
I'm going to talk about two who I know personally. If you want your story told anonymously, please contact me.
(1) A young male engineer. He entered the work force just over 5 years ago. His plan for success was "to make himself indispensable to the employer". (This is the same mistake that I made.) He worked hard, very hard. He tried to make himself indispensable to the employer. He took on responsibilities far beyond his comfort zone and he succeeded. He excelled at difficult tasks and so after 5 years, he was made project lead on a large project. And two weeks later, he was laid off. He had done everything right. He worked hard. He spoke politely to his managers. He made concrete career goals. He didn't cut corners. He dealt with suppliers and contractors cleverly. He made money on the project (i.e. no deficit in the budget). And? And he bought a home. And 4 months ago he had his first child. And today? He is unemployed.
(2) Female technician. Sacrificed several personal goals to further her career. Did not take breaks like she wanted to, so that she could continue on her career path. She worked incredibly hard. Had an unblemished resume - until August 2014 when she was laid off. Now she has a half-year gap in her resume which fills her with dread. In any industry, a half-year gap is the equivalent of career leprosy: No one wants to touch you. She has sold her home. And her husband works for half his wage in a far-off city.
Somewhere I read an obtuse article where the writer was "worried about staffing issues when the economy picks up". I think I mentioned it in one of my earlier blog posts. How about worrying about the people that don't have money to pay their mortgages? How about worrying about creating company policies that give employees a cushion (monetary and work skills) so that they can deal with economic down-turns successfully? How about generating some awareness for future employees on how volatile the oil & gas industry is? How about looking into the lives of the people that are being affected by this oil crash? How about some honest journalism? How about some basic fucking journalism? How about some empathy? Or has the soul-less, lazy, pathetic excuse of journalism you sell taken up so much of your time that you can no longer tell how you are now pandering the wishes of a soul-less corporate entity while stomping on the dignity and respect of real individuals? Pathetic.
I fumed at another recession related article I read today where an HR person said, "The best way to be recession-proof is to make yourself indispensable to your company.". Naivete does not excuse ignorance. I'm so sick of HR people pretending to work for the best interests of the employee whilst doing everything in their power to stomp on individual dignity.
Hear me again everyone: There is no shortage of Engineers on this planet. What there is also plenty of, is greed. Under-staffing problems are not because there aren't enough qualified people in the job market. It's because companies want to stay under-staffed to fatten their bottom line.
If only Engineers had the life-span of fruit flies. Then everyone in HR and upper management would be happy.
Showing posts with label avoid engineering. Show all posts
Showing posts with label avoid engineering. Show all posts
Friday, January 15, 2016
Thursday, January 14, 2016
A Gentle Poem of Hope for the Burnt Out
I'm burnt out. I feel lonely. I feel exhausted. I feel tired, and I don't want to take another step. Not even a step towards my own healing. I've given too much. I gave and I gave, even when I did not have it in me to give. And I did it for too long.
Is that what burnout feels like to you?
I found a kind poem today by John O'Donohue.
A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
--by John O'Donohue
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
- See more at: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=736#sthash.Q1H7eQRR.dpuf
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
- See more at: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=736#sthash.Q1H7eQRR.dpuf
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
- See more at: http://www.awakin.org/read/view.php?tid=736#sthash.Q1H7eQRR.dpuf
Is that what burnout feels like to you?
I found a kind poem today by John O'Donohue.
A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
--by John O'Donohue
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
--by John O'Donohue (Jul 26, 2011)
When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,
The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
--John O'Donohue, from "Blessings"
Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Tenets To Live By (For Recovering Overachievers): Prohairesis
I suppose there are two kinds of over-achievers.
(a) Those who over-achieve naturally, regardless of the input of others. They just follow their instincts and their heart and the result is: exceptional achievement.
And then there are ....
(b) Those who grind themselves to the ground in their efforts to please their relatives and peers. Their lack of self-acceptance completely overshadows any other thoughts, feelings or emotions. They pursue self-acceptance through the eyes of others. And it is a horrid journey.
I've taken this journey because I belong to 'b' family. (Maybe I should have reversed the list above so I could belong to 'a' family instead. 'a' sounds superior to 'b'.)
Pleasing others is exhausting. Members of 'b' family burn out, loathe themselves in varying degrees, get sick and unhealthy from overwork and exhaustion, and look a bit foolish doing all this. They look most foolish to themselves because they wonder ... what (the heck) are they doing and who are they doing it for?
I asked myself those last two questions daily and never got an answer better than, "Well, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm sure as heck not doing it for me."
I have, in my pursuit of philosophy, stumbled across a few wonderful ideas that I wish to incorporate into my daily life. And I will present them one by one.
In a very simple sense, Prohairesis is the result of a happy collaboration between our rational thought (logos) and our irrational desires (orexis). "The concord of reason and desire." (1) Charles Chamberlain writes beautifully on this.
Aristotle says this: In our daily lives, once we have rationally decided to pursue a course of action, we must align our desire with that action. "We must make our desire accord with reason."
"Children and animals have no share in prohairesis." (1)
Aristotle goes on to say that:
Where I disagree:
Chamberlain goes on to say that, "The engkrates, who has also undertaken a commitment, feels the pull of desire, but perseveres. By doing so, he allows new desire to form."
I can guarantee that the writer of this post (that's me) is a quintessential engkrates that did not develop a new desire. I undertook a commitment (engineering), I felt the pull of desire (other meaningful and honourable pursuits), I persevered (4 years of engineering and 13 years of professional practice), and it ended in despair. No seeds of desire sprung into saplings of corporate greed, or deceitful tactics. Neither did the love of endless toil that bore sub-par fruit blossom in my tender heart.
However, I think Prohairesis has hopes for the likes of us (i.e. overachieving people pleasers) in Epictetus' Discourses below (2):
I cannot control the rational thought or the desires of another. (Read as: my verbally abuse co-worker has his/her own set of rational thoughts and desires. Neither am I privy to them, nor do I have any control of them. How insultingly simple.)
And in this alone lies good and evil. My participation is secured - by the greatest actor of this play: ME.
References:
(a) Those who over-achieve naturally, regardless of the input of others. They just follow their instincts and their heart and the result is: exceptional achievement.
And then there are ....
(b) Those who grind themselves to the ground in their efforts to please their relatives and peers. Their lack of self-acceptance completely overshadows any other thoughts, feelings or emotions. They pursue self-acceptance through the eyes of others. And it is a horrid journey.
I've taken this journey because I belong to 'b' family. (Maybe I should have reversed the list above so I could belong to 'a' family instead. 'a' sounds superior to 'b'.)
Pleasing others is exhausting. Members of 'b' family burn out, loathe themselves in varying degrees, get sick and unhealthy from overwork and exhaustion, and look a bit foolish doing all this. They look most foolish to themselves because they wonder ... what (the heck) are they doing and who are they doing it for?
I asked myself those last two questions daily and never got an answer better than, "Well, I don't know what I'm doing and I'm sure as heck not doing it for me."
I have, in my pursuit of philosophy, stumbled across a few wonderful ideas that I wish to incorporate into my daily life. And I will present them one by one.
Prohairesis
(Stoicism, Aristotle, Epictetus)
In a very simple sense, Prohairesis is the result of a happy collaboration between our rational thought (logos) and our irrational desires (orexis). "The concord of reason and desire." (1) Charles Chamberlain writes beautifully on this.
Aristotle says this: In our daily lives, once we have rationally decided to pursue a course of action, we must align our desire with that action. "We must make our desire accord with reason."
"Children and animals have no share in prohairesis." (1)
Aristotle goes on to say that:
"The weak willed man (akrates) acts in accordance with desire, not with commitment (prohairoumenos), while the continent man (engkrates) on the other hand acts in accordance with commitment not with desire."
Where I disagree:
Chamberlain goes on to say that, "The engkrates, who has also undertaken a commitment, feels the pull of desire, but perseveres. By doing so, he allows new desire to form."
I can guarantee that the writer of this post (that's me) is a quintessential engkrates that did not develop a new desire. I undertook a commitment (engineering), I felt the pull of desire (other meaningful and honourable pursuits), I persevered (4 years of engineering and 13 years of professional practice), and it ended in despair. No seeds of desire sprung into saplings of corporate greed, or deceitful tactics. Neither did the love of endless toil that bore sub-par fruit blossom in my tender heart.
However, I think Prohairesis has hopes for the likes of us (i.e. overachieving people pleasers) in Epictetus' Discourses below (2):
"No one is master of another's prohairesis [moral
character], and in this alone lies good and evil. No one, therefore,
can secure the good for me, or involve me in evil, but I alone have
authority over myself in these matters." (Discourses 4.12.7–8, trans. Dobbin)
I cannot control the rational thought or the desires of another. (Read as: my verbally abuse co-worker has his/her own set of rational thoughts and desires. Neither am I privy to them, nor do I have any control of them. How insultingly simple.)
And in this alone lies good and evil. My participation is secured - by the greatest actor of this play: ME.
"Some things are up to us [eph' hêmin] and some
things are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses,
desires, aversions–in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are
not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, or our public
offices, or, that is, whatever is not our own doing." (Handbook 1.1, trans. White)
If we took control of, took responsibility for, those things that are within our power, that are up to us, we would be happy. Would we not?
We try so hard to control the happiness of others by working 80 hours a week, abandoning our families, neglecting our bodies, but can we control the happiness of our bosses? No. They remain unhappy. The jokes I kept hearing during crunch time, "He's a crabby old man because his wife doesn't put out." have a terrible ring of truth to them. We don't know why he's crabby.... we don't know what motivates the other, yet we try so hard to control their responses.
We ignore the things we can control. Our own mood, desires, location, health, happiness. We sacrifice these things, why? Has it been taught to us from a young age? Or can we be brave enough to admit that it is in our nature to do this?
Every time I feel seething rage at someone else for their behaviour, I must remember that what I can control is my anger and not their behaviour. When I feel crushed and broken after receiving a poor review of my work, all I have to do is identify that my feelings of dismay are within my control and the review presented to me is not.
That which we have power over, we must take responsibility for. Then we must proceed to control it, for therein lies our happiness. The moods, whims, fantasies, wishes, desires, anger, disappointment of the other is not within our power. To try and control it is madness.
It is therefore a sin to give our efforts away to fruitless endeavour. It is an affront to us, and to nature, to try and defy what is laid out in front of us.
Be the master of your mood, and therefore your fate. Let the other master his/her own destiny.
And in this way, let us be selfish. Would the world not be a better place?
References:
(1) The Meaning of Prohairesis in Aristotle's Ethics
Charles Chamberlain
Transactions of the American Philological Association (1974-)
Vol. 114 (1984), pp. 147-157
(2) http://www.iep.utm.edu/epictetu/
"To maintain our prohairesis (moral character) in the proper condition – the successful accomplishment of this being necessary and sufficient for eudaimonia ('happiness') – we must understand what is eph' hêmin ('in our power' or 'up to us'; see Discourses 1.22.9–16). If we do not do this, our prohairesis will remain in a faulty condition, for we will remain convinced that things such as wealth and status are good when they are really indifferent, troubled by frustrations and anxieties, subject to disturbing emotions we do not want and cannot control, all of which make life unpleasant and unrewarding, sometimes overwhelmingly so. This is why Epictetus remarks: 'This is the proper goal, to practise how to remove from one's life sorrows and laments, and cries of "Alas" and "Poor me", and misfortune and disappointment' (Discourses 1.4.23, trans. Dobbin).
What is in our power is the capacity to adapt ourselves to all that comes about, to judge anything that is 'dispreferred' not as bad, but as indifferent and not strong enough to overwhelm our strength of character.
The Handbook of Epictetus begins with these words:
(3) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prohairesis
(2) http://www.iep.utm.edu/epictetu/
"To maintain our prohairesis (moral character) in the proper condition – the successful accomplishment of this being necessary and sufficient for eudaimonia ('happiness') – we must understand what is eph' hêmin ('in our power' or 'up to us'; see Discourses 1.22.9–16). If we do not do this, our prohairesis will remain in a faulty condition, for we will remain convinced that things such as wealth and status are good when they are really indifferent, troubled by frustrations and anxieties, subject to disturbing emotions we do not want and cannot control, all of which make life unpleasant and unrewarding, sometimes overwhelmingly so. This is why Epictetus remarks: 'This is the proper goal, to practise how to remove from one's life sorrows and laments, and cries of "Alas" and "Poor me", and misfortune and disappointment' (Discourses 1.4.23, trans. Dobbin).
What is in our power, then, is the 'authority over ourselves' that we have regarding our capacity to judge what is good and what is evil. Outside our power are 'external things', which are 'indifferent' with respect to being good or evil. These indifferents, as we saw in the previous section, number those things that are conventionally deemed to be good and those that are conventionally deemed to be bad. Roughly, they are things that 'just happen', and they are not in our power in the sense that we do not have absolute control to make them occur just as we wish, or to make them have exactly the outcomes that we desire. Thus, for example, sickness is not in our power because it is not wholly up to us whether we get sick, and how often, nor whether we will recover quickly or indeed at all. Now, it makes sense to visit a doctor when we feel ill, but the competence of the doctor is not in our power, and neither is the effectiveness of any treatment that we might be offered. So generally, it makes sense to manage our affairs carefully and responsibly, but the ultimate outcome of any affair is, actually, not in our power.No one is master of another's prohairesis [moral character], and in this alone lies good and evil. No one, therefore, can secure the good for me, or involve me in evil, but I alone have authority over myself in these matters. (Discourses 4.12.7–8, trans. Dobbin)
What is in our power is the capacity to adapt ourselves to all that comes about, to judge anything that is 'dispreferred' not as bad, but as indifferent and not strong enough to overwhelm our strength of character.
The Handbook of Epictetus begins with these words:
That is, we have power over our own minds. The opinions we hold of things, the intentions we form, what we value and what we are averse to are all wholly up to us. Although we may take precautions, whether our possessions are carried off by a thief is not up us (but the intention to steal, that of course is in the power of the thief), and our reputations, in whatever quarter, must be decided by what other people think of us, and what they do think is up to them. Remaining calm in the face of adversity and controlling our emotions no matter what the provocation (qualities of character that to this day are referred to as 'being stoical'), are accomplished in the full Stoic sense, for Epictetus, by making proper use of impressions."Some things are up to us [eph' hêmin] and some things are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions–in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, or our public offices, or, that is, whatever is not our own doing. (Handbook 1.1, trans. White)
(3) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prohairesis
Sunday, January 3, 2016
Engineering Rewards Negative Thinking
I wonder if there are any professions that reward Positive thinking.
The health profession? Where you have to help the patient visualize their own healing...
The finance sector where you day dream of making lots of money...
Not the day-trading world. I see how obsessive and negative that environment has become (or maybe always was) since everyone there operates either out of fear or greed. Tsk tsk.
The tourism industry perhaps, where you help people have a good time. I know that under staffing and the resulting frustration is an issue in that industry too.
The fitness industry is definitely powered on positive thinking and all sorts of positive pop-psychology. Of course, human nature intervenes and we do have the over-competitive people. But I can see this industry benefiting from positive thinking.
All this to say that the Engineering world directly benefits from negative thinking. The more doomsday scenarios one can cover for, the better the Engineer.
It is fucking draining. Constantly thinking of how something is going to break or fail, is hardly an objective exercise. I have spent several (meaning thousands of) imagining scenarios of 'operator fault', 'manufacturer's defect resulting in catastrophe', 'possible major and minor failure', 'past catastrophes and how they could have been avoided', etc.
After 13 years, it's not fun. Actually, it started getting painful after year 4. It's one thing to build a model toy car or to build a bridge from spaghetti. It's another thing to make a living incorporating solutions to a myriad of failures that may happen, day after day after day after day...
At first it was gratifying to see, at the end of a project, that no catastrophe had actually taken place - as a result of my work. But the novelty wears off. Then I started looking for recognition from my peers and managers. Tumbleweeds rolling in an abandoned dusty wild west town there.
It's tiring. It's not for everyone.
The older engineers I've worked with get accustomed to the finite number of scenarios they have encountered in their career. Their designs were not the best. They did what they had done for the past 25 years. The covered for some scenarios. And they turned a blind eye to the new scenarios. It was as if the new scenarios were in their blind spot. They had become complacent. The field technologists were different. They thought on their feet and did a really good job even after being on the job for 30+ years. But that was probably because they did not bear the direct responsibility of any failure - which is what the engineer bears - direct responsibility for failure.
High paying professionals like Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Accountants don't get payed high salaries because their task is complex. They get paid to take the blame. They get paid to hang by the noose one day. And maybe that is why there is a pandemic of disillusionment among those that practice these professions.
40% doctors leave their profession in the first 10 years. There is a whole industry dedicated to help lawyers transition out of their practice. Engineers... no statistics there... because they keep bloody getting laid off and being made redundant. Not sure how accountants fare, but I have a couple of accountant friends that are well on their way to being professionally burnt out. I should include professors and researchers in this ocean of disillusioned people. They don't bear legal blame for catastrophes, but they are so over-burdened with work that many of them look (and act) broken.
What is wrong with this scenario?
The health profession? Where you have to help the patient visualize their own healing...
The finance sector where you day dream of making lots of money...
Not the day-trading world. I see how obsessive and negative that environment has become (or maybe always was) since everyone there operates either out of fear or greed. Tsk tsk.
The tourism industry perhaps, where you help people have a good time. I know that under staffing and the resulting frustration is an issue in that industry too.
The fitness industry is definitely powered on positive thinking and all sorts of positive pop-psychology. Of course, human nature intervenes and we do have the over-competitive people. But I can see this industry benefiting from positive thinking.
All this to say that the Engineering world directly benefits from negative thinking. The more doomsday scenarios one can cover for, the better the Engineer.
It is fucking draining. Constantly thinking of how something is going to break or fail, is hardly an objective exercise. I have spent several (meaning thousands of) imagining scenarios of 'operator fault', 'manufacturer's defect resulting in catastrophe', 'possible major and minor failure', 'past catastrophes and how they could have been avoided', etc.
After 13 years, it's not fun. Actually, it started getting painful after year 4. It's one thing to build a model toy car or to build a bridge from spaghetti. It's another thing to make a living incorporating solutions to a myriad of failures that may happen, day after day after day after day...
At first it was gratifying to see, at the end of a project, that no catastrophe had actually taken place - as a result of my work. But the novelty wears off. Then I started looking for recognition from my peers and managers. Tumbleweeds rolling in an abandoned dusty wild west town there.
It's tiring. It's not for everyone.
The older engineers I've worked with get accustomed to the finite number of scenarios they have encountered in their career. Their designs were not the best. They did what they had done for the past 25 years. The covered for some scenarios. And they turned a blind eye to the new scenarios. It was as if the new scenarios were in their blind spot. They had become complacent. The field technologists were different. They thought on their feet and did a really good job even after being on the job for 30+ years. But that was probably because they did not bear the direct responsibility of any failure - which is what the engineer bears - direct responsibility for failure.
High paying professionals like Doctors, Lawyers, Engineers, Accountants don't get payed high salaries because their task is complex. They get paid to take the blame. They get paid to hang by the noose one day. And maybe that is why there is a pandemic of disillusionment among those that practice these professions.
40% doctors leave their profession in the first 10 years. There is a whole industry dedicated to help lawyers transition out of their practice. Engineers... no statistics there... because they keep bloody getting laid off and being made redundant. Not sure how accountants fare, but I have a couple of accountant friends that are well on their way to being professionally burnt out. I should include professors and researchers in this ocean of disillusioned people. They don't bear legal blame for catastrophes, but they are so over-burdened with work that many of them look (and act) broken.
What is wrong with this scenario?
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Engineering Is A Highly Vulnerable Profession
....or rather, Engineers will almost always find traditional engineering jobs in volatile or vulnerable industries.
How do I have the confidence to say this?
Because if you look at most of the industry collapses in the last 50 years, you'll notice a trend. Although people from all walks of life are affected when an industry takes a hit, the ones that take the 'hardest' hit are the ones that trained specifically for that industry. And Engineers do just that.
Aerospace engineering takes periodic hits all the time. Even wonder what happens to people in the industry? It's not exactly an up-and-coming field. People who have the experience and manage to hold on to their jobs during the downturns are lucky. Those that accumulate, say, 10 years of experience and then sadly lose their jobs... what do they do? Wait around till the industry returns? Fat chance of that happening in a predicable fashion.
Nuclear engineering. There are 'n' number of people working in this industry. It's a non-growth industry. After Fukushima, this field became extremely unpopular, and many people lost their jobs. Let's follow that thought to completion - many people - mostly engineers - lost their jobs permanently. So now, after 4-5 years of education and highly specific nuclear-engineering training and experience, these people are left without a job and without any foreseeable job prospects. What a sham. I sound disappointed because some part of me was convinced when my University implied that after I get my degree, I'll be employed in my field for as long as I was going to work. What an utter lie. These lies are especially true for highly specific areas of expertise. Nuclear engineering is not an easy program to get into, nor is it an easy program to complete.
Electrical Engineering: Let's take this broad field as an example. People that get a job in a utility company after graduating end up staying in the field of utility and power transmission all their lives - if they don't get laid off. Can they transition into another area, like say, Oil and Gas? The truth is NO they can't. If a person with 6 years of Utility and Power transmission experience applies to the Oil and Gas industry, they will be rejected due to lack of relevant experience. I tried to make a transition from the Municipal industry to the Power transmission industry. 3 interviews later, I gave up. Despite their 'need' for people and my extensive knowledge and experience in the relevant field of Industrial applications, they did not want me. And that was during a boom. There is no way, NO WAY people can make a transition from say Oil and Gas to say Municipal during an economic downturn. I used to listen to my boss' conversations when they screened applicants. Utterly stupid things like this were said, "Although we're working our staff to the bone and we have the budget to get a couple more guys on the team to meet these deadlines, all the applicants are from the Oil and Gas sector. I don't want to hire them and then have to lay them off in 2 years." What a joke. They overworked their employees and didn't hire enough personnel because they included "Overtime Exempt" clauses into the contract. That's it. The bottom line is sweeter with one less employee on payroll. And for the guys working themselves to death, there's the Employee Assistance Program with psychologists to help you 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. So fuck off.
Anyway, my message is this: There are many, many, many other industries that are far more stable and versatile than engineering for the amount of effort that goes into becoming and engineer and for the luck that is needed to stay active as a practicing engineer. The medical industry is always flourishing. HR, Accounting, Marketing and BD are ever-versatile: You can piggy-back on any industry and not only save your career, but flourish in it.
If you don't LOVE engineering, don't get into it. If you do get a job after graduating, you are most probably going to lose that job in 5-10 years. Then, if you want to keep working in the field, you will have to move or retrain yourself. Or if you are like me, you will never want to return to the field again because you will be so burnt by it.
How do I have the confidence to say this?
Because if you look at most of the industry collapses in the last 50 years, you'll notice a trend. Although people from all walks of life are affected when an industry takes a hit, the ones that take the 'hardest' hit are the ones that trained specifically for that industry. And Engineers do just that.
Aerospace engineering takes periodic hits all the time. Even wonder what happens to people in the industry? It's not exactly an up-and-coming field. People who have the experience and manage to hold on to their jobs during the downturns are lucky. Those that accumulate, say, 10 years of experience and then sadly lose their jobs... what do they do? Wait around till the industry returns? Fat chance of that happening in a predicable fashion.
Nuclear engineering. There are 'n' number of people working in this industry. It's a non-growth industry. After Fukushima, this field became extremely unpopular, and many people lost their jobs. Let's follow that thought to completion - many people - mostly engineers - lost their jobs permanently. So now, after 4-5 years of education and highly specific nuclear-engineering training and experience, these people are left without a job and without any foreseeable job prospects. What a sham. I sound disappointed because some part of me was convinced when my University implied that after I get my degree, I'll be employed in my field for as long as I was going to work. What an utter lie. These lies are especially true for highly specific areas of expertise. Nuclear engineering is not an easy program to get into, nor is it an easy program to complete.
Electrical Engineering: Let's take this broad field as an example. People that get a job in a utility company after graduating end up staying in the field of utility and power transmission all their lives - if they don't get laid off. Can they transition into another area, like say, Oil and Gas? The truth is NO they can't. If a person with 6 years of Utility and Power transmission experience applies to the Oil and Gas industry, they will be rejected due to lack of relevant experience. I tried to make a transition from the Municipal industry to the Power transmission industry. 3 interviews later, I gave up. Despite their 'need' for people and my extensive knowledge and experience in the relevant field of Industrial applications, they did not want me. And that was during a boom. There is no way, NO WAY people can make a transition from say Oil and Gas to say Municipal during an economic downturn. I used to listen to my boss' conversations when they screened applicants. Utterly stupid things like this were said, "Although we're working our staff to the bone and we have the budget to get a couple more guys on the team to meet these deadlines, all the applicants are from the Oil and Gas sector. I don't want to hire them and then have to lay them off in 2 years." What a joke. They overworked their employees and didn't hire enough personnel because they included "Overtime Exempt" clauses into the contract. That's it. The bottom line is sweeter with one less employee on payroll. And for the guys working themselves to death, there's the Employee Assistance Program with psychologists to help you 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. So fuck off.
Anyway, my message is this: There are many, many, many other industries that are far more stable and versatile than engineering for the amount of effort that goes into becoming and engineer and for the luck that is needed to stay active as a practicing engineer. The medical industry is always flourishing. HR, Accounting, Marketing and BD are ever-versatile: You can piggy-back on any industry and not only save your career, but flourish in it.
If you don't LOVE engineering, don't get into it. If you do get a job after graduating, you are most probably going to lose that job in 5-10 years. Then, if you want to keep working in the field, you will have to move or retrain yourself. Or if you are like me, you will never want to return to the field again because you will be so burnt by it.
Economic Downturns I've Experienced and Witnessed
I got into Engineering school dewy-eyed about the promise of eternal employment and supernatural job satisfaction and fulfillment. That was in 1997.
I participated in the University's Cooperative Education Program that found me 4-months contract work after the completion of each 4-month study semester to get a taste of the employment market. I tasted the joy of making money and being a student who had minimal expenses, I was able to pay for my education and living expenses.
I had no trouble finding work between 1997 and the year 2000. But at the start of the year 2000, reality winked at me. The technological giant Nortel Networks burped. It had acquired too many companies too fast and stock prices started sliding. In 8 months, the share price fell from roughly $125 to $10. I was shocked and thought - like many, many others - that it was a temporary event, and that Nortel would inevitably recover. This giant castle that was built in the clouds couldn't possibly come crashing down. But it did. And many were devastated. My devastation was only emotional and psychological. For others it was financial and professional. My personal banker lost her life savings because she didn't follow her own advice: Greedily, she put all her retirement money in tech stocks. All of it.
Closer to the epicenter, my ex-boss at Nortel who had only worked at Nortel all his working life (for 20+ years) was laid off, along with almost all the employees of Nortel. I doubt he found another job in the same industry, if he did in fact decide to stay in the same city.
That calamity lasted for …. well, the hi-tech industry in Ottawa never recovered, actually. All that work migrated to India and China. All the classmates I graduated with, never had the chance to truly enter the industry because it collapsed before they could even get their first full-time job in it. Disastrous. And this disaster was completely Engineer-specific.
I moved Provinces to Oil & Gas country, but found work in the Municipal world which kept me safe from recessions. I still thought what had happened to me in Ottawa was a one-off, an exception rather than the rule. But I was wrong.
In 2004, round about the time my sibling graduated from his grueling engineering program at a prestigious university, the automotive industry in Ontario collapsed. Tens of thousands of people were without a job. For a second time, the hardest hit was taken by the engineers - because it was an engineer-centered industry. Suddenly I suspected there may be a pattern. People with automotive-specific skills were left utterly stranded. I didn't worry so much about the young and middle-aged people that had a chance to retrain themselves. What about the people nearing retirement, which included a huge baby-boomer population? They couldn't retrain, and they couldn't afford to retire. So what did they do? Move? Work at Walmart?
In 2008 the whole world sort-of collapsed. The souffle built by the lies of Wall Street and the Federal Reserve collapsed. Alberta went through a brief spell of mass unemployment and obscurity. Tens of thousands of people were laid off with no foreseeable hope in sight. But things did pick up eventually. All industries suffered: Housing, Financial and Engineering. Engineering was not immune.
And here we are in 2014, 2015. Oil prices have stayed steadily low for 2 years now. And there is no hope of any recovery in the oil and gas sector in Alberta. Russia predicts this spat of bad oil prices will last at least 7 years. So what do oil and gas industry people do? Retrain? Work at Starbucks for 7 years? Again, the downturn is Engineer-specific. Admin staff can work anywhere. HR can work anywhere. Marketing people can work anywhere. But Engineers are fucked. Proper fucked.
Still want to do engineering?
I participated in the University's Cooperative Education Program that found me 4-months contract work after the completion of each 4-month study semester to get a taste of the employment market. I tasted the joy of making money and being a student who had minimal expenses, I was able to pay for my education and living expenses.
I had no trouble finding work between 1997 and the year 2000. But at the start of the year 2000, reality winked at me. The technological giant Nortel Networks burped. It had acquired too many companies too fast and stock prices started sliding. In 8 months, the share price fell from roughly $125 to $10. I was shocked and thought - like many, many others - that it was a temporary event, and that Nortel would inevitably recover. This giant castle that was built in the clouds couldn't possibly come crashing down. But it did. And many were devastated. My devastation was only emotional and psychological. For others it was financial and professional. My personal banker lost her life savings because she didn't follow her own advice: Greedily, she put all her retirement money in tech stocks. All of it.
Closer to the epicenter, my ex-boss at Nortel who had only worked at Nortel all his working life (for 20+ years) was laid off, along with almost all the employees of Nortel. I doubt he found another job in the same industry, if he did in fact decide to stay in the same city.
That calamity lasted for …. well, the hi-tech industry in Ottawa never recovered, actually. All that work migrated to India and China. All the classmates I graduated with, never had the chance to truly enter the industry because it collapsed before they could even get their first full-time job in it. Disastrous. And this disaster was completely Engineer-specific.
I moved Provinces to Oil & Gas country, but found work in the Municipal world which kept me safe from recessions. I still thought what had happened to me in Ottawa was a one-off, an exception rather than the rule. But I was wrong.
In 2004, round about the time my sibling graduated from his grueling engineering program at a prestigious university, the automotive industry in Ontario collapsed. Tens of thousands of people were without a job. For a second time, the hardest hit was taken by the engineers - because it was an engineer-centered industry. Suddenly I suspected there may be a pattern. People with automotive-specific skills were left utterly stranded. I didn't worry so much about the young and middle-aged people that had a chance to retrain themselves. What about the people nearing retirement, which included a huge baby-boomer population? They couldn't retrain, and they couldn't afford to retire. So what did they do? Move? Work at Walmart?
In 2008 the whole world sort-of collapsed. The souffle built by the lies of Wall Street and the Federal Reserve collapsed. Alberta went through a brief spell of mass unemployment and obscurity. Tens of thousands of people were laid off with no foreseeable hope in sight. But things did pick up eventually. All industries suffered: Housing, Financial and Engineering. Engineering was not immune.
And here we are in 2014, 2015. Oil prices have stayed steadily low for 2 years now. And there is no hope of any recovery in the oil and gas sector in Alberta. Russia predicts this spat of bad oil prices will last at least 7 years. So what do oil and gas industry people do? Retrain? Work at Starbucks for 7 years? Again, the downturn is Engineer-specific. Admin staff can work anywhere. HR can work anywhere. Marketing people can work anywhere. But Engineers are fucked. Proper fucked.
Still want to do engineering?
Monday, October 12, 2015
Don't Go Into Engineering!
Consider This Before You Decide To Get Into Engineering
There is so much misinformation out there that it behooves me to lay these facts in front of you before you get into this field. This is written for those of you having second thoughts about engineering. If you're already in engineering school, then think a little harder before you muscle your way through to graduation. If you've already graduated and are struggling to find a job, consider skidaddling into another career.
I realize that reading one blog entry means nothing and you most likely will not change your mind because of it. But think about what I have to say. And if you hear more than one engineer or ex-engineer say the same thing, then there may be something to it.
(1) No use of MATH OR SCIENCE. You'll NEVER use any MATH or SCIENCE. If you're an Electrical Engineer, you're going to use V=IR and P=VI. So quit school after the first semester and save yourselves tens of thousands of dollars in tuition and years of useless education. Laplace Transforms? Triple Integrals? I think NOT. Try ADDITION and SUBTRACTION. I even went completely wild once and used DIVISION. I think I almost fractured the space-time continuum with that one overly-complex mathematical operation for a lowly electrical engineer. Needless to say, picking engineering because of my interest and acumen for math was a BIG mistake.
Let me try to put this to you as gently as I can: your engineering job is about fitting as many square pegs in as many square holes as quickly as possible while management breathes down your neck. You will not be able to use your creativity or imagination with anything.
(2) Zero Complexity. Enjoy complexity? Well, sucks to be you. There will be NO COMPLEXITY in your engineering design. Whatever problem you figure out how to solve in the first year of your employment, you will continue to solve for the remaining 35 years. Sizing an MCC? Load flow calculation for your power distribution system? Sizing your power cables? Designing your switchgear? Everything you need to know you will learn in 1 year. After that your mind will waste away. So what did I do for the remaining 12 years? I went to site. I commissioned systems. I hung out with electricians. I tried to troubleshoot real problems. I participated in technical committees. I volunteered for learned societies. But this isn't why I went to school. It's great that I could do it. And I'm grateful that I traveled all over Alberta and British Columbia, but this isn't mentally stimulating and I don't want to do this till I'm 65.
(3) NO Industry Stability. When I graduated in 2002, the city I was in was the Hi-Tech capital of Canada. I and all my classmates had done all our coop jobs in hi-tech firms. The month we graduated, everything went up in flames. It took less than a month for the entire hi-tech world in eastern Canada to completely turn to ash. All of us stared in disbelief and foolishly believed things would go back to normal. It never did. I moved to oil and gas country.
In 2008, North American monetary systems collapsed and a lot of people lost their homes and their jobs. I managed to hold on to my job because the industry I was in was funded by the Municipal government. But most of my industry contacts were either laid off or were afraid to get laid off.
It's now 2015, and oil and gas country is now in dire straits. Canada and USA are feeling the pains of low oil prices, and engineers are the first to get the boot. Over 15,000 people - mostly engineers - have lost their jobs in less than 1 year in my city alone.
When an industry suffers, the first people to get the chop are engineers.
(4) TOO MANY ENGINEERS! There are far too many engineering graduates each year and post graduation placement rates are dismal. The only years when graduates get jobs straight out of school are boom years. After that, new graduates struggle to get their foot in the door in any industry. Because of the way things turned out when I graduated, 90% of my classmates never even had a chance to pursue their trade. Some got another degree. Some went into their family business. Some just got non-degree jobs. All those articles you read about a huge gap between the availability of experienced engineers and industry needs are mythological and ideological concepts concocted by people with too much time on their hands.
(5) NO Job Stability. Let me repeat that. Your company will lay off whomever they damn well please when their bottom line sees the slightest quiver. It is far more important for the VPs to get their bonuses than it is to keep 3 engineers employed. And this only sucks if you cared about what you did (when you were employed) and made personal sacrifices in order to produce a good product. If you didn't give a rat's ass about the drawings you made or the client you were servicing, then you're okay. You can just lie on your resume and get another job when the economy returns. I personally know of several engineers who were critical team members, who spent over 35 years with the same company, were laid off in the last few months and security walked them out of the building. They were given no pension (despite their employment agreement and a robust pension plan they contributed to) and just a 4 week severance. They have since sued their companies. You owe your company nothing because your company sure as fuck doesn't think it owes you anything.
(6) Nepotism. Be prepared. Hard work, honesty and great communication skills will get you nowhere. However, kissing people's butt shamelessly will get you very, very far. If you're related to people in management, that's even better. Learn how to play golf and read the best selling book, "How to $||ck corporate ____!". Do I sound bitter? Well, you'll meet many soul-less ghostly apparitions floating around in engineering offices. These spirits were once hopeful engineers that have now given up any hope of recognition and appreciation.
(7) Verbal Abuse. Are you kidding me?
Get ready to be screamed at & Be prepared to scream at people. You know, in the 4 years of engineering school, no one told me that all this education would guarantee that I would be treated with basic human dignity. Because that doesn't happen. There are plenty of people in management with serious personality disorders that use verbal abuse as a way to intimidate and coerce their co-workers into doing their bidding. It's a daily thing and it's common place in the consulting world. I've managed to fight off most of them - peer or manager. But I did have to leave one job because my boss - who was a workplace bully - kept climbing the corporate ladder until she became invincible and far too powerful. My ex-coworkers still get verbally abused and publicly humiliated regularly. I still cannot believe this happens in a professional environment in a first world country.
(8) Murdering the good things in your life. Whatever you love doing will be beaten out of you. Despite realizing that engineering wasn't my passion, there are parts of my job that I find enjoyable. I enjoy following client standards to produce a compliant design. I enjoy completing a good design. I enjoy working with the contractor to build a working system. I like troubleshooting systems. Well, all of the above have been beaten out of me. I have been made to work so much unpaid overtime that the zest of life has been drained from me. What does an 80 hour work week look like? From Monday-Friday I work 12 hours a day leaving me no time to exercise, enjoy a dinner or pursue a hobby. I reach work at 9:00, leave at 9:00, barely have enough time to eat, shower and sleep. Then I work another 8-12 hours on a Saturday and/or Sunday leaving me barely enough time to get groceries and catch up on my sleep. This would be fine if it occurred once or twice a year. But I've been doing this for 4 months straight. Some people are cool with this. I'm not. It's a choice. I honestly believe life doesn't have to be like this. I've also read research that has found we suffer neurological damage when we work these unhealthy hours. Also look up the word "Karoshi".
(9) Acute and Chronic Stress. You will stress out 99% of the time and your health will suffer. Chronic stress will lower your immunity and raise your chances of getting heart disease, stroke and cancer. One of my mentors died of a heart attack six months after he retired early. Another mentor died of cancer within 3 months of retiring. Another friend's coworker is now in a coma due to a stroke he suffered during a long weekend. He is 57 or 58. I've injured my back 5 times in 3 years now. My last straw was me being able to feel my heart beat for 30 minutes during a particularly stressful client meeting. And in the next client meeting, I felt repeated sharp stabbing pains in my chest for 2 minutes straight. Did I call for help? Nope. I didn't want to upset the client.
(10) Overwork and Exploitation. Some of you will work 80 hours a week for at least half the year. Some of you will be okay with this. I am not. I don't want my tombstone to read, "I only wish I'd worked a little harder."
(11) Anonymity. You will never be appreciated. Never. Never. Never.
(12) Bad Decision. If you're Indian or Chinese, seriously reconsider getting into this field ESPECIALLY if your parents are pushing you into this field. I speak from experience. My society essentially told me that if I wasn't a doctor or engineer, I should fall into a sinkhole and get obliterated. If you are going into engineering for societal approval and status, be warned that when you work those long hours alone and feel completely ungratified with the work you're doing, no society will be by your side. When I injured my back and was unable to move for 15 days due to pain, no one helped me. No one sent me a 'get well soon' note. No one gave a shit. When I am unable to sleep for more than 2 hours (for months now) due to stress and anxiety, society does not empathize with me or help me out in any way. Your parents may get momentary kudos for your toil, but it means jack shit because you're not there to get patted on the back - they are. Think hard about how you'll feel sitting in that cubicle doing something you absolutely don't give a shit about. And why? Because your parents wanted you to? Do you want to spend your life with someone you hate? (I hope you're saying 'No' to this one.) Then why would you spend your life working at something you hate?
(13) Being Thrown To The Wolves. You will not get any mentoring. My father became an engineer in 1967. He had kind and knowledgeable mentors that took the time to teach him things. I did not have a mentor and neither did my sibling. We were thrown to the wolves and if we made it ... great. I saw people that did not make it. I watched them get eaten alive. Whatever you can figure out on your own, using your own resources, reading IEEE books, text books, talking to vendors and manufacturers, befriending electricians.... that's what you will get. The onus is on YOU to get the knowledge. Be prepared. I actually found this part fun. But it shouldn't be this way.
(14) Misogyny. Ladies: Be prepared for sexism. I really did not think this would happen. But it does. I know my shit. I can dominate a meeting. I'm not leaning in - I'm taking over the room. And it doesn't fucking matter. It's a boys club. This is probably one of the reasons why I stuck around in this piece of shit industry for so long. Swimming upstream is my thing. But this isn't a good enough reason to keep doing something that doesn't bring you joy. Yeah, I'm one of the best Electrical Engineers I know. So what? Who gives a shit? All that matters is that when I'm with myself, I am not spending time doing something that bring me joy.
Having said all of the above, there are some topsy-turvy things I'm very grateful for:
(1) Humans. I now value all human beings equally: I deeply respect just about anyone but stick-up-their-butts engineers who cannot spare a millisecond of their time to respect their fellow human beings.
(2) Life. Money means less to me now: I went into engineering for the job stability and the pay. All I can say is when the joy of life has been stripped of you, money means nothing. I can afford a lot, and I don't give a shit. What's the point of having a gorgeous apartment if you're never in it? What's the point of having enough money to afford a trip if you never get permission for vacation and you can't spare even a weekend?
(3) Health. I value my health: After suffering from multiple back injuries, severe anxiety and stress and physiological illnesses related to stress, I've looked around and realized how little anything means if you don't have your health and body. I have co-workers who have a stash of medication in their office cabinet. They look ill. They are ill. And they drag themselves to work at a job they hate. It's a choice. I know more than one person in engineering suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.
(4) Family. I value my family: They have stuck with me through all these crappy times. They have been with me when I treated them with neglect. But my "family company" laid off critical team members on a whim with less than 30 minutes notice.
(5) Self. I value my intellect and my curiosity: I have discovered some interests that I did not know I had. I have found passions that this career crisis has uncovered. For this I am deeply grateful. When one door closes, another one opens.
(6) Time. I value my time: I don't know if there are multiple lives. But I can only relate to this life. So I've got to make the most of the remaining 35-45 years I've got left. I came alone. I'll be departing alone. I have to take responsibility for my life.
I hope that was depressing enough.
I'll finish off with a quote from my favourite person in modern history:
"Life
ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to
its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each
individual." - Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
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