Saturday, January 30, 2016

LEAVE Your Misery Behind: When To Quit Your Job And When To Stay

There are varying degrees of misery in the corporate world. I will write about a few of them here, based on my own experience. Some warrant a departure from the job. Others do not. I will provide a rating for each with Low for Don't Leave Your Job and maybe find ways to mature personally, Medium for Look For a Lateral Move or a Better Job and High for RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. I mean that last one. There are some jobs that are absolutely toxic to who we are as humans and everything we stand for.

When I say 'Run For Your Life' I mean that in order to preserve your humanity, dignity, self-respect, confidence, to protect or recover the trust you had in yourself and in order to invest in your future by nurturing your present: You have to get away from your job at any cost.

(a) Occasional Annoyance (Low): It happens. There is always an annoying co-worker who rubs you the wrong way 20% of the time. This is okay. It just means that you have an opportunity to open your mind to a different personality. It also means that you're human and that you are perfectly OK as you are. You don't need to like EVERYBODY and they don't need to like you either. You do need to get along with everyone at work in order to finish a project satisfactorily. So do it. Read some books on personal development. Or ignore your undesired people. Focus on the things you love about your life, your job, your routine (or lack thereof), the people you love in your life (or lack thereof). Take vacations, enjoy life, treasure your good days at work.

(b) Serious Disagreement with A Co-worker (Low): If this person is an equal in your company's hierarchy, and you are working with more people that this one person, learn to grow from this experience. If they are an equal, learn better communication techniques. Open your mind to new ideas. Hate his guts? Try to stop focusing on him when you are on your own. Don't just foolishly ignore him/her. When you are with him, observe his behaviour objectively. When we see someone we hate, we see something inside them that we dislike about ourselves. This is the rule, not the exception. Use 'The Work' by Byron Katie and open your eyes to something very deep and profound within you. This is an opportunity for Enlightenment. Don't pass it up.

(c) Occasional Disagreement with a Senior Co-worker or Supervisor (Low): This is actually a learning opportunity. The assumption here is that there is no verbal abuse involved, just disagreements. The situation is that your supervisor wants something done a certain way, you disagree, you have voiced your opinions (or not) and supervisor sticks with his decision. In life, this happens. If you are a junior or intermediate engineer, this happens a lot. You have a lot to learn and a senior engineer has a lot to teach you. Learn, learn, learn. You may be confident, but be grateful that someone may show you the ropes. Your ego is good and serves a purpose, but there is no need to stroke it 24 hours a day. Healthy self-confidence is to be applauded. But blinding conceit (which happens to us all) can be met with a healthy alternative of objectivity and a curious nature. Nurture those good qualities in yourself.

(d) Frequent Disagreements with multiple co-workers (Medium): This is a sign. It's a sign that you have values, a method of doing things, and those are incompatible with the people you work with. It's natural. It's human. It's draining for the black sheep - but there is nothing wrong with you. You just quack when others neigh. Find another job. Try out a different department within the same organization. Change is inevitable. It's hard to accept, but try it. You are bound to grow - whether you initiate the growth opportunity or the growth opportunity comes to your door step.

(e) Disagreement with Company Policies (Medium): This is a deep problem. If you see that your values, ethics, reasoning, judgement are being opposed or violated, it's time to find an organization that is compatible with who you are. In a shitty economy, don't quit your job. Keep applying for new jobs and keep looking for the right place to be. If you are in a large corporation, find a small company. If you are already in a small company, try for another small company. NEVER will I recommend that anyone move to a large corporation to find people who honour values, ethics and sound judgement. It just doesn't happen.

(f) Tough Commute (Low - Medium): I've spoken to people who have moved jobs to accommodate their daily schedule. I was actually stunned when I heard this. But I later realized that some people don't really give a shit about what they do all day as long as the hours are reasonable and they get a pay check. Weekly donuts, monthly birthday parties, all these contribute to their overall happiness. They don't take life too seriously and are happy. If you are one of those people, then sure... find another work place to improve your commute. If however, you value your work, do get along with your co-workers, are challenged with your work or are pretty okay with your salary - then don't change jobs. Having even a few of the things I mentioned above is a stroke of luck. Consider moving residences.

(g) You Want A Little More Money (Very Low): This is the worst reason to quit your job. I'm not talking about a $50,000/year raise. I'm talking about $2,000 a year. You'll not even see it on your bi-weekly pay check. I only listed this point because my father's ex-coworker did leave a decent job for a raise of $2000/year. 8 months later they laid him off. Needless to say, this is a stupid reason to leave.

(h) Over Work (Medium - High): I have been overworked most of my life. I have traditionally worked 50-60 hours a week, and got paid for 40 most of the time. It set a very bad foundation for my adult-life-experience. But strangely enough, back then I didn't really mind it. I got paid for it some of the time (when budgets allowed) and I learnt everything very quickly. I managed to keep my work quality high, which was important to me. I occasionally worked the 80 hours, but it was a one-off incident yearly, which I thought was a "no biggie" sort of deal.
Then I joined that last company I worked for. By week 3 (after starting), I was working 60 hours a week. By the end of the second month I was working 80 hours a week. I didn't complain until 2 weeks later when I was given even more work. 100 hours a week. At last, when I realized that I would have to stay a total of 120 hours at the office that week to finish the work, I protested. For the remaining 9 months I worked 80-100 hours a week. I spoke to management every month about reducing my workload. On month 7 or 8, I developed chest pains. When I asked for help, they laughed at me. The most senior manager never got to work a minute before 8:00 and never left a minute after 5:00. But he laughed when I said that I can't do anymore 80 hours weeks.

(i) Abuse (High): Any form of abuse will destroy you.
You know why abusing children is heinous and infinitely worse than abusing adults? Because adults have the ability to walk away from that situation. If you being abused at work, recognize that you are an adult and that you are in a position to walk away. Take ownership of the situation. It would be best for you to leave the job.
Verbal abuse (in private or in public): Verbal abuse is intended to diminish your importance, make you feel smaller, and wrench power away from you. There is no circumstance where suffering abuse is a good idea. There can never be a holy intention where you were meant to suffer.

Bullying (being treated badly, being singled out):
    Group Bullying: You will lose this battle. You cannot fight group bullying. You just have to protect yourself and leave. If you have been targeted by someone who feels threatened by you, and you are new to the organization - you are going to lose this fight. I do not believe that any institution has a system in place for you to be able to fight this.

    Individual Bullying: If you have just one bully, you are not working regularly with your bully, and if they are an equal, then if you stick it out with your organization chances are that the bully will either leave or will get out of your way. I have seen this happen countless times. The bully tends to leave because they are more miserable than you are. Instead, focus on yourself: establish your reputation, your quality of work, and people within your company will value you for the work you do and what you bring to the table. When everything else is working out for you at this job, then don't let one bully deter you from building a successful career at this organization. You can even switch departments or offices if it still bothers you.

Life is meant to be good. There can be challenges now and then, but life is not meant to be excruciatingly hard. Suffering arrives in unpredictable ways. When people have to go through genuine suffering there is nothing they can do about it but accept it. And by this I mean things like war, holocaust, colonization, death of a child, being orphaned.
But for ALL THE OTHER TIMES there is choice. You Must Leave the abusive situation.

If you live in a first world country (like I do), and you are not leaving your job because of poor financial choices you have made, or low self-esteem then you have to take responsibility for your situation and face the fact that you are choosing to be abused. And you can CHOOSE TO GET OUT. Choose to honour yourself.

(j) Slander (High): If you are a professional, this is a career killer. If you have someone out to get you, you better get out. Run. Especially if this person is more powerful than you are and has a long reach within an esoteric community that you work in.

Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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