It feels like saying goodbye to your most trusted friend. The one who was there for you through thick and thin. But it isn't that, because
you are always with you. What you're mourning is the identification with your thoughts, opinions, beliefs, dreams, ideology, rules, rights, wrongs.... all the things that made up your identity. That's what you're saying 'goodbye' to... not yourself.
And if you only have your self at all times, everything else is replaceable. Beliefs are replaced almost daily, ideologies are a fashion, opinions dance in the light, thoughts flow like the river, rules are different in different lands, rights and wrongs are in the mind of the beholder. All these are what you are saying goodbye to. When you see it like that, it almost seems silly that we mourned it. But we do need to mourn it because that is what we thought we were.
You're also saying good bye to the familiar, to the battles you've fought and the wars you've won or lost. You're saying good bye to the people and places you love and hate. And you're saying goodbye to the experiences you married.
Just remember as you mourn, that those experiences are always going to be a part of you... you don't need to hold on to the memory of them. You are already shaped by them. They've become a part of you... for the better. No matter how nasty the situation, you've stepped one step closer to the real you. The powerful and naturally perfect you.
I was glad to realize that all feelings are neither good nor bad. Sadness isn't a bad thing. If you are faced with feeling a negative emotion, go to a private place and FEEL the emotion fully. Be brave and do it. You know what will surprise you? That once you truly let that emotion flow through you, it passes through incredibly quickly. Within 3 seconds it's gone. But resist the emotion and you'll be stuck in a karmic infinite loop of reliving that emotion frequently. The same situation will revisit you until you fully feel that emotion.
I feel like bullying is just that. We resist the emotions that came to us when we were first bullied. And then in our lives, we revisit that bully over and over again. Different jobs, different cities, different relationships - there they are: the bully. The way to break this karmic ground-hog day is to fully feel any emotion you feel when you're being bullied. Once you feel that emotion fully, do The Work (by Byron Katie) and then once you feel completely cleansed and unburdened of those feelings, Focus on something you LOVE. Focus on someone you adore, or something that delights you. And suddenly you'll come out on the other side with a solution to your problem. Often, the problem simply disappears.
Love this guy: Jason Garner. Read a beautiful post by him titled:
