Stop Doing Things You Hate

Otherwise you'll become an expert at doing things you hate and you'll forget how to do the things you love.

It's really that simple.

How do I know? I've been working diligently at a career I dislike for the last 13 years. I'll talk about my example.

I hate my job. I hate going to work. I almost hate doing my design work (which I used to love before), owing to all the things surrounding my work. In my old workplace I used to be very close to my co-workers. At my new workplace, I get along with most of my co-workers but to my immediate co-workers, I am perceived as a threat so they dislike me intensely. One coworker no longer acknowledges my presence and refuses to speak to me, no longer replies to my greetings or engages me in any way. Another one has decided that listening to my evaluations of the project and taking into account what I need in terms of resources will make his life harder, so he just ignores me. But at least he is polite.

I am also working with a few corporate bullies that carry out bullying as a part of their company-wide policy (to make sub-consultants look bad and to make themselves – the prime consultant – look good).

The client hates our consulting team due to past incompetencies and under-delivery on past projects.

And I walked into this big stinking pile of shit 6 months ago with my face aimed at the shit-launching trebuchet.

At the end of these fateful 6 months I have given up hopes that I can rescue this project with will power, determination and help from management. I am at that point where I've realized management just wants a warm body to distract the client while they rake in the cash. Too bad I care about the deliverable. "Pfft what a fucking idiot!" They won't give me resources. They won't negotiate with the client for time or money. Therefore I'm out. I gave it 6 months.

However, this article is about how the decision to stay at a horrid job is bleeding into my everyday life. Today I went to a restaurant and ordered some food I never tried before. I was quite hungry, so in retrospect maybe I should have ordered something safe. Anyway, what showed up in front of me was supposedly food on a plate, but it looked like a stinking pile of shit. When I took a bite of it, it tasted like a stinking pile of shit. It even smelled like a big stinking pile of shit. It reminded me of my job.

Guess what I did? Did I return it to the kitchen? Did I politely stop eating it, pay and leave? Nope. None of the above. I ate it till I was full. I was nauseous. I was disgusted. I could feel this absolutely disgusting dish swimming in my stomach and I wanted to hurl.

Why did I do that? Why did I eat something that was clearly something that I did not want to eat?

Because my brain is now accustomed to doing things it detests. I have to think hard to remember a single thing I enjoy doing. I've been doing things I hate for so long that I actually stopped noticing. Reminiscent of the frog that slowly boils in gradually boiling water... poor frog doesn't notice that the temperature of his “pond” is rising to the point of cooking him.

Today I remembered that in the past 10 years, if I bought some food that I wanted to try, had it and hated it, I would save it in the freezer for later. And I would have it later. One day I looked in my freezer and it was full of shit I did not want to eat, yet I would eat it occasionally. The worst days were when there was no food in the house and so I had to resort to this freezer full of crap that I did not want to eat, and because these things had been in the freezer for so long, it had the freezer smell. Absolutely disgusting. And because I was tired and hungry, I ate it. And I've been doing this for years.

Back to the restaurant today. After eating my fill of this stinking pile of shit, I politely asked for it to be packed up. As I ruminated about this incident, I couldn't understand why I was doing this to myself. After 10 minutes, while driving home, I felt sick. The smell of the food in the car was making me feel sick. I stopped my car at the nearest strip mall, found a garbage bin and threw the leftovers out. I walked back to my car, opened the car door, and the whole car smelt of this crap. I left all the windows open for 10-15 minutes to let the nauseous smell out. Now the only memory of this shit crap dish I ate was in my stomach and I was digesting this food and making it a part of me.

DO THE THINGS YOU LOVE

Because if you don't, you will get good at doing things you hate. And you'll forget that you even like to do anything.

Don't digest the crap you go through everyday at work and make it a part of you.

When I was eating that pile of crap, these were the reasons I was doing it:

• I didn't want to offend the restauranter/waiter
• I didn't want the money/food to go to waste
• I was too embarrassed to admit that I ordered something disgusting
• I wasn't going to be a quitter

I noted how all those thoughts above were also the reason why I was staying at the crappy crappola job I have.

I started to think again in the car. What ARE the things I love? What do I love to eat? What do I love to do? My days are so full of painful things that I hate, that I honestly struggle to remember things I love. And when I do remember them, I can't trust myself. Do I really love those things or do I just feign love in order to get approval from others? I know scores of people that spend uncountable hours in societies and extracurricular activities they detest just so it looks good on their resume.

Isn't life too short to waste time like that? What fucking society;s opinion am I worried about? Who gives a shit?

I don't know what to say if you ask whether we should do some things we hate like exercising and eating right. All I can think of saying is that you really shouldn't have to hate an activity that keeps you fit and healthy. Can you find a sport you actually enjoy? Can you eat something healthy that isn't fucking disgusting? There are many choices out there. Explore.

Taxes, bills just need to be paid. This isn't what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about making long term choices that define who we become. I'm talking about being honest with yourself and being a genuine you. We are going to die, soon. I don't want to look back and say, “Yeah, I didn't even TRY doing things I loved because I was too busy paying the bills. Yay me. Now I don't get a second chance.”