Sunday, October 11, 2015

Engineering Encourages Negative Thinking

I have been in the consulting field for 13 years. Every day, I get paid to think of the worst-case scenario and cover for it. The saying goes, "Hope for the best and plan for the worst."

If you're a good engineer, planning for the worst becomes second nature. You start planning for the scenarios where you've missed something or when the contractor will miss something or will ask for an extra. You start planning for equipment failing on commissioning day and prepare for unforeseen circumstances. Things still go wrong and that's fine because you think on your feet when you're on site. And when I used to head back to my hotel room after solving a problem, I felt like a lone ranger that made the world a better place. Like Clint Eastwood or one of those Ronin.

Except, that mentality starts bleeding into your everyday life. And then you start considering worst case scenarios for your planet, your country, your friends, your family, and finally yourself. It would be fine if it was a fleeting thing but it becomes the way you live your life.

And the only way to deal with that in engineering is apathy.

I decided to leave engineering because at  my 13 year mark, I saw a fork in the road: I could either be like my conscientious I&C mentor (who I deeply respected and) who died of a heart attack 6 months into his retirement. Or I could be my immediate senior engineer who became apathetic. And this is what I see consistently amongst senior engineers in consulting. They may as well have the words "I don't give a shit" tatooed on their forehead.

This senior engineer who I mention above had arranged for the commissioning of a critical life-saving system for a small town. At the end of the commissioning, the system did not work as it was designed. It worked using only a portion of it's full capability which was insufficient for the town's critical needs. The original fees was sufficient for completing the task as originally intended. When the town called him with serious concerns he replied, "We've run out of budget so pay us more." Let me be clear: people still stand a risk of incurring massive damage to their property if this system is not utilized as per it's advertised advantages. To say that I was deeply disappointed would be an understatement. This engineer didn't used to be this way. He was an empathetic engineer before. But his love for society and his conscientiousness was beaten out of him by management. Management never failed to give him feedback when his projects went over budget. But he  never got feedback when he saved lives or installed a great system. And he wanted to climb the corporate ladder, so slowly he went over to the dark side.

Bad management you say? I addressed my concerns with senior managers who I gauged as being more well-rounded than others.. a higher EQ, if you will. And they said to me, "We're in the business of making money. Create a perfect system that works within the time and budget allotted to you (by us). That's your job."

Great.

That started my downward spiral towards unpaid overtime. That was 5 years ago.

And now I'm done.

This year alone I've done over 240 hours of unpaid overtime. My salary is Not designed to compensate me for this level of overtime. This is simply greediness on management's part.

Not to have delusions of grandeur or anything, but I do feel like Asoka right now... you Clone Wars fans will know what I'm talking about.

Needless to say, I am a lot more wary of roller coasters now.

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